UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT SANTA CRUZ, ©V. Tonay 2006
First of all, it is very important for you to realize that you are not alone: 1 in 3-4 women and 1 in 6-10 men in the US were sexually abused as children. Research on the effects of sexual abuse in adulthood is prolific now. Studies have reliably demonstrated that the effects of sexual abuse on adults are identical to the effects of childhood physical abuse and to those of child neglect.* The only difference is, that with sexual abuse, one often has sexual symptoms as well. Child sexual abuse is also very amenable to treatment. Survivors of childhood abuse can and do work through their symptoms and emerge stronger and more sensitive adults--with empathy and an intimate understanding of others' pain.
I believe the three most effective books for those struggling with healing from abuse are: Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, The Courage to Heal, and Laura Davis, The Courage to Heal Workbook and (for partners and friends of survivors), Allies in Healing. These books discuss in a thorough and informative way the effects of child sexual abuse on adults. The workbook is an excellent resource to use in therapy or on your own. Another useful book, especially good when one feels alone in the experience, is Ellen Bass's I Never Told Anyone, which is a collection of writings on women's experiences of having been sexually abused as children. These books are available everywhere, or you can buy them online.
If you are seeking psychotherapy for help with having been sexually abused, that is a good thing to do for yourself! The campus Counseling & Psychological Services office in the Health Center will see you 6 times for free and will then refer you off campus. The most important thing to look for when seeking a therapist is (1) they say in their yellow pages or other ad that they specialize in treating sexual abuse survivors; (2) they are licensed as psychiatrists (MD), clinical psychologists (doctoral degree PhD), clinical social workers (master's degree & LCSW), or marriage/family/child counselors (master's degree & MFT/MFCC)--interns (MFCCI) are not experienced enough to work effectively with survivors no matter what they may say; (3) s/he does all the things we talked about under ethics for an initial session with a new client. In particular, a therapist treating survivors must have excellent boundaries: set limits for time sessions last and hold to it, no overfamiliarity with clients, little talking on the phone before you meet them, very little talking about themselves if any, initiating no physical contact with you whatsoever, establishing goals for treatment and length of treatment within the first few sessions, etc.
The Women's Center on campus sometimes has talks and groups for survivors. They also host the annual art show of works by survivors.
Walnut Ave. Women's Center downtown also has groups for women regularly for a small fee. The Survivor's Healing Center on Mission Street, which was started by Ellen Bass, has all kinds of workshops, events, and groups for male and female survivors and their friends.
Women's Crisis Support has a hotline you can call 24 hours a day, as does Suicide Prevention Service.
Remember that you are not damaged, only wounded. Wounds heal with time, tending, and patience!
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*(most abusers are known to the victim; the extent of effects depends upon the reaction of caretakers to the abuse, whether the child is support by an adult, whether or not the abuse is chronic and began at an early age)