UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT SANTA CRUZ
Psych 169; Fall, 2006
First of all, it is very important for you to realize that you are not alone. Child abuse in the US is an epidemic. About one-third of us have suffered some form of child abuse or neglect. Research on the effects of abuse in adulthood is prolific now. Studies have reliably demonstrated that the effects of sexual abuse on adults are similar to the effects of childhood physical abuse and to those of child neglect.The difference is, that with sexual abuse, one often has certain relationship and sexual symptoms as well. Child abuse is very amenable to treatment. Survivors of childhood abuse can and do work through their symptoms and emerge stronger and more sensitive adults.
I believe the three most effective books for those struggling with healing from sexual abuse are: Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, The Courage to Heal, and Laura Davis, The Courage to Heal Workbook and (for partners and friends of survivors), Allies in Healing. These books discuss in a thorough and informative way the effects of child sexual abuse on adults. (Laura Davis has recently come out with a new book for survivors who are already well into the healing process; the topic of that book is sexual healing.) The workbook is an excellent resource to use in therapy or on your own. Another useful book, especially good when one feels alone in the experience, is Ellen Bass's I Never Told Anyone, which is a collection of writings on women's experiences of having been sexually abused as children. These books are available everywhere, or you can buy them on-line at amazon.com. They are also books which can be used by those struggling with having been physically abused as children, since the effects of physical and sexual abuse are so similar. The Verbally Abusive Relationship is perhaps the most helpful book out there which describes what emotional (verbal) abuse is, gives specific examples of retorts, and explains how abusers develop. This is also a great resource for learning to be assertive.
If you are seeking psychotherapy for help with having been abused, that is a good thing to do for yourself! The campus Counseling & Psychological Services office in the Health Center will see you 6 times for free and will then refer you off campus. The most important thing to look for when seeking a therapist is (1) they say in their yellow pages or other ad that they specialize in treating abuse survivors; (2) they are licensed as psychiatrists (MD), clinical psychologists (doctoral degree PhD), clinical social workers (master's degree & LCSW), or marriage/family counselors (master's degree & LMFT)--very few interns (LMFTI) are experienced enough to work effectively with survivors; (3) s/he does all the things we talked about under ethics for an initial session with a new client. In particular, a therapist treating survivors must have excellent boundaries: set limits for the length of therapy and hold to it, set specific goals, no overfamiliarity with clients (little talking on the phone before you meet them, very little talking about themselves if any), initiating no physical contact with you whatsoever, and so on.
For survivors of all forms of abuse: The lowest cost psychotherapy resource in Santa Cruz is the nonprofit Family Services Assn. (which has agencies all over the country). They have interns and licensed therapists--to get a licensed person, just request one. Women's Crisis Support has a hotline you can call 24 hours a day, as does Suicide Prevention Service.
For sexual abuse survivors: Walnut Ave. Women's Center downtown has groups for women survivors bregularly for a small fee. The Survivor's Healing Center on Mission Street, which was started by Ellen Bass, has all kinds of workshops, events, and groups for both male and female survivors and their friends. Amy Pine, LMFT, has been leading groups for survivors for many years.
Remember that you are not damaged, only wounded. Wounds heal with time, tending, and patience!